Nobody Knows My Ass Around Here.
An onsen adventure at a ryocan in Japan
Many years ago my dear friend Edith said, “Nobody knows your ass around here.” While it was too long ago to remember the specifics, she and I must have been among strangers, and I was debating doing something questionable. She told me I had impunity to do something embarrassing if nobody I knew saw me do it.
The advice has served me well and given me courage as I plunge into unknown situations with a high risk of embarrassment. As long as I don’t know the people around me and I will never see them again, I am magically safe from true humiliation.
Edith’s words came back to me on our recent trip to Japan.
Part of our itinerary included a one night stay at a ryocan (traditional Japanese inn). with an onsen (hot spring bath) The one we booked was on the shore of Lake Ashi with a tourist pirate ship, a tram to the top of a semi-active volcano and a stunning view of Mt Fuji.
In advance of arriving I had a vision of some kind of communal hot tub with my family in bathing suits hanging out together in a steaming pool.
I should have done more research.
It turns out that onsen’s are single sex with totally naked bathing. And there is also a lot of rather intimidating ritual mostly explained in Japanese. Mike and Jacob decided to go to the onsen together but I was on my own because it wasn’t Lily’s cup of tea.
I waffled and wavered. Should I do it? It all felt rather embarrassing. Not only was I positive I would do things wrong but most of the women staying at the inn were Japanese with willowy bodies. The idea of exposing my pale, lumpy, old American self didn’t feel so great.
And then I heard Edith in my ear. “Nobody knows your ass around here!”
I asked myself, ”When will you have this opportunity again?” Maybe never! So I gathered my courage and went for it.
Step one was to don a yukata which was kind of a bathrobe dress. Instructions were provided which said that I needed to belt the robe right over left, instead of left over right which is reserved for the dead. Unfortunately I read the instructions after belting the first time so I had to redo it.
I then walked through the entire hotel including the lobby, making my way to the women’s onsen. Luckily many others were dressed similarly so I didn’t stand out. Men and women were dresseed the same.
In general Japanese women seem very shy and modest, but this fell away in the onsen. The naked women walked around casually, blow drying their hair, packing their bags and chatting with their friends.
To be honest I was a little uncomfortable but just I tried to follow their lead.
After stripping down I proceeded to the pools. There were three pools about 18” deep and each was half inside and half outside. One was clear, one kind of looked like tea and one was milky.
The women proceeded from bath to bath and I followed. Most women had a wet towel on their head which I thought was a little silly looking but I did it anyway.
I’m pretty sure I did the baths out of order but I gave myself points for just being there. It was also very dim and foggy in the onsen which made me feel a little less self conscious.
The final step was to actually clean myself.
On the back wall of the same room as the pools there were cleaning stations which were like a vanity table crossed with a phone booth.
I sat on a low plastic stool and used my head towel as a wash cloth to give myself a good scrubbing. There was a low shower with good water pressure, luxurious body products and a big mirror. The Japanese are extremely clean so it was a little incongruous that my wet naked butt sat on the same stool used by lots of other wet naked butts. But again, I was just rolled with it.
Finally I was done. I walked dripping wet with a towel on my head into the dressing room, got a couple of fluffy towels to dry off with, rerobed and went back to our room.
I was quite proud of myself and I did have a good time. And since nobody knew my ass it’s almost like it didn’t happen…but it did.
wish i was there. Was the water nice? If there are several different baths - how does it work, cold to hot or vice versa? any bubbles?
Way to go for it!!! Sounded like such a fun and rich experience.